the burnt pucker kiss
that once healed
the smashed dollhouse
and childhood
poisons
the same veins
it once saved
from becoming
a bathroom puddle
china white horse
of a different color
black rider now
stampeding
rather than
carrying me away
to a world
devoid
of the grey
of Sundays
Frayed Knots and Last Writes
I sailed to my death
but failed to die
a small thing, really
blown fuse
Christmas light
yet the whole tree
goes dark
I need to
say good-bye
dry the paint
and tie the
frayed knots
but all ready
too dead
for last rights
or
writes
but failed to die
a small thing, really
blown fuse
Christmas light
yet the whole tree
goes dark
I need to
say good-bye
dry the paint
and tie the
frayed knots
but all ready
too dead
for last rights
or
writes
Waiting for Discharge
Another sunrise
sideways
over I-35
hanging precariously
between life and death
5 stories up
Will it end this time
by their hand or mine?
An ill-meant
miracle cure
or miraculous
resolution
of the homeless
And I freely bleed
sideways
over I-35
hanging precariously
between life and death
5 stories up
Will it end this time
by their hand or mine?
An ill-meant
miracle cure
or miraculous
resolution
of the homeless
And I freely bleed
Lights; Leaving
I suddenly
care not
for the
left legacy
I once
envisioned
instead i long
for quiet
peaces fitting
untethered
unmedicated
uncluttered
the chance
not to rage
as I am tired
of fighting
but to simply
go gently
into the dying
of that good light
care not
for the
left legacy
I once
envisioned
instead i long
for quiet
peaces fitting
untethered
unmedicated
uncluttered
the chance
not to rage
as I am tired
of fighting
but to simply
go gently
into the dying
of that good light
Effigy
dropped eves
and obligatory mournings
wear him down
faster than the virus
Catholic recovery
a pleasing heart
bind him
to the bored
and the healing water
drip drip drip drip drips…
wall; paper
shreds
exposed brick
and favorite acts
in matching luggage
and obligatory mournings
wear him down
faster than the virus
Catholic recovery
a pleasing heart
bind him
to the bored
and the healing water
drip drip drip drip drips…
wall; paper
shreds
exposed brick
and favorite acts
in matching luggage
Shot
unbeknownst
i traded it all
for a PRICK
[though i don't
truly know
even now
which is
FUCKING me]
my smile; my sight
yanked and faded
my painter’s poet hand
gnarled in roots
my spirit
smashed and bent
in a forgotten
sooted spoon
i traded it all
for a PRICK
[though i don't
truly know
even now
which is
FUCKING me]
my smile; my sight
yanked and faded
my painter’s poet hand
gnarled in roots
my spirit
smashed and bent
in a forgotten
sooted spoon
Fresh Out
It’s all ways
all about you
and your day
of trivialities
going blind
and dying
i’ve dumped
this room
on end
searched beneath
the plastic mattress
and bottom
of medicine cups
and nowhere
can I find
a FUCK
to give
all about you
and your day
of trivialities
going blind
and dying
i’ve dumped
this room
on end
searched beneath
the plastic mattress
and bottom
of medicine cups
and nowhere
can I find
a FUCK
to give
35 didn’t ask
her gash
spattered
lipstick red and
a screaming
bastard
everything
she never was
or would be
she found
the nearest toilet
but could
not
flush
she should have
spattered
lipstick red and
a screaming
bastard
everything
she never was
or would be
she found
the nearest toilet
but could
not
flush
she should have
out on a [broken] limb?
I still have
both ears
wholly
and no one’s
been shot
though the
rope
from
which
i am
hanging
in there
wants to be
the noose
in my own
strange
fruit
both ears
wholly
and no one’s
been shot
though the
rope
from
which
i am
hanging
in there
wants to be
the noose
in my own
strange
fruit
Jeff
He went swimming
and died with his boots on
They found his body
But was it barefoot?
Or did he take them with him
when he left?
and died with his boots on
They found his body
But was it barefoot?
Or did he take them with him
when he left?
And Counting…
a claustrophobic’s nightmare
inside my cell
dwarfed
by dog hair and don’t
an eggshell ballet
of blame
as the clock ticks
tarnished
telling no time
(doing nothing but biding)
my bones stretch
a body broken
pulled
in every direction
but up
and I long
for the gutter
a much preferred
bed of sewage
glittered glass
and broken dreams
and the stars
i can no longer see
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
inside my cell
dwarfed
by dog hair and don’t
an eggshell ballet
of blame
as the clock ticks
tarnished
telling no time
(doing nothing but biding)
my bones stretch
a body broken
pulled
in every direction
but up
and I long
for the gutter
a much preferred
bed of sewage
glittered glass
and broken dreams
and the stars
i can no longer see
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
I want to be
I want to be a poet
I want that voice
that roars out
across space
startles you
scares you
and kicks you
in the nuts
so hard
it takes your breath away
assaulted
I want to be that force
that leaves tears
on your face
before you
even realize
they’ve left your eyes
I want to knock you
to your knees
bawling out
screaming screeching
teeming
hell yesses and amens
then lift you
up
goosebumped
and gloried
(with just my words)
I want that voice
that roars out
across space
startles you
scares you
and kicks you
in the nuts
so hard
it takes your breath away
assaulted
I want to be that force
that leaves tears
on your face
before you
even realize
they’ve left your eyes
I want to knock you
to your knees
bawling out
screaming screeching
teeming
hell yesses and amens
then lift you
up
goosebumped
and gloried
(with just my words)
New Shit (It's been awhile.)
sometimes it crumbles
Katrina soaked rot
in swimming piles
of plaster
betraying
every molded brick
black with fester
each holding
the other up
beyond circumstance
believable
to tourist
in bliss
and I wonder
am I as faded
or do you
©2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
Katrina soaked rot
in swimming piles
of plaster
betraying
every molded brick
black with fester
each holding
the other up
beyond circumstance
believable
to tourist
in bliss
______
haunted
by the trees
of Chaparral
gone grey
and barren
and I wonder
what you see
as you watch me
dying
am I as faded
as I feel?
leaves falling
onto cracked earth?
or do you
recall me now
in the full bloom
when we fed
the ducks?
©2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
File: Print
she's obsessed
with printing
it out
everything
and nothing
building some
fucked up
paper fortress
of insanity
useless trivia
low fat healthy living
with greasy fingerprints
and ho-ho crumbs
she'll never use
or peruse
but the click clack
overtime hum
of the printer
drowns
in thousands
of dollars
of ink
killing more trees
than
consumerist communists
trying desperately
not to be forgotten
with printing
it out
everything
and nothing
building some
fucked up
paper fortress
of insanity
useless trivia
low fat healthy living
with greasy fingerprints
and ho-ho crumbs
she'll never use
or peruse
but the click clack
overtime hum
of the printer
drowns
in thousands
of dollars
of ink
killing more trees
than
consumerist communists
trying desperately
not to be forgotten
When it snows
snow days
waylaid
on my own
private
Shutter Island
I wonder how long
I can dodge
ball all
these swings
arcs barking
mad
on broken circled
chains
strains of pained
childhood
running rampant
on
that childless
child's playground
your madness
fucking up
down and under
the bluests
of skies
and tries
eyes darkened
hearkening back
to your
days
of self medication
of whiskied shouts
on the outs and
prayers to a church
hurt like
babies
should
never feel
from wounds
that
never
heal
and here you stand
and demand
your sanity
in
the false martyred
palm
of your hand
stigmata
non grata
when all
that really needs
be done
if anyone
someone
no one
is to ever
be fucking honest
in this fun house
family tree
of broken branches
last dances
lost chances
is to shove
your pills
down your
thoat
remove your
self imposed
St. Sebastian woe
and let you
swim
in the moat
of normal
with the rest
of your
mother fucking
crocodiles
making crazy
for a while
so you see
like me
the world is not
out to get you
it can't get under
the giant chip
that boulder
on your shoulder.
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights. Reserved.
waylaid
on my own
private
Shutter Island
I wonder how long
I can dodge
ball all
these swings
arcs barking
mad
on broken circled
chains
strains of pained
childhood
running rampant
on
that childless
child's playground
your madness
fucking up
down and under
the bluests
of skies
and tries
eyes darkened
hearkening back
to your
days
of self medication
of whiskied shouts
on the outs and
prayers to a church
hurt like
babies
should
never feel
from wounds
that
never
heal
and here you stand
and demand
your sanity
in
the false martyred
palm
of your hand
stigmata
non grata
when all
that really needs
be done
if anyone
someone
no one
is to ever
be fucking honest
in this fun house
family tree
of broken branches
last dances
lost chances
is to shove
your pills
down your
thoat
remove your
self imposed
St. Sebastian woe
and let you
swim
in the moat
of normal
with the rest
of your
mother fucking
crocodiles
making crazy
for a while
so you see
like me
the world is not
out to get you
it can't get under
the giant chip
that boulder
on your shoulder.
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights. Reserved.
Ponyboy
at some point
you would think
i would
learn
the tune
of the second fiddle
hoops
are not jumped
for me
but a thousand
fucking ladders
line Jacob's way
on a wish
and a whim
so in shadows
i'm still humming
a melody
i never hear
here
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
you would think
i would
learn
the tune
of the second fiddle
hoops
are not jumped
for me
but a thousand
fucking ladders
line Jacob's way
on a wish
and a whim
so in shadows
i'm still humming
a melody
i never hear
here
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
sprung. training
a year ago
i died twice
lines flat
splatted
in a choke gag
cough
a cackle
a dry heave
of infection
and began again
now i eat
dessert first
deserting vindaloo
in case
the mariachi
never plays
the
shut the fuck up
refrain
over salad
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
i died twice
lines flat
splatted
in a choke gag
cough
a cackle
a dry heave
of infection
and began again
now i eat
dessert first
deserting vindaloo
in case
the mariachi
never plays
the
shut the fuck up
refrain
over salad
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
Waiting for Wednesday
the vampires
swarm
hungry for the kill
salivating
for a mouthful
of blood
and being
torches
at the ready
the infection
feeding the perfection
of broken
looking glasses
half full and smashed
i mince
not words
but garlic
stuffing
your bellied
heartaches
into a manicotti
of madness
holding your head
face down
in the font
cackling at
your cacophony
until the
twitching stops
and the
witch's switch
flips
wins
stamping out
the ashes
of your
Wednesday
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
swarm
hungry for the kill
salivating
for a mouthful
of blood
and being
torches
at the ready
the infection
feeding the perfection
of broken
looking glasses
half full and smashed
i mince
not words
but garlic
stuffing
your bellied
heartaches
into a manicotti
of madness
holding your head
face down
in the font
cackling at
your cacophony
until the
twitching stops
and the
witch's switch
flips
wins
stamping out
the ashes
of your
Wednesday
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
Dash
You dragged me across
your open wound
adding salt to the pains
your absence refused to give
this mangled heart
a sawed off blob
of tangled
butcher's meat
you can have back
it no longer beats
for me
or bleeds
for you
I rescind your
Lucio love fest
of spatter and gore
bloodied valentines
of rejected be mines
©2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
your open wound
adding salt to the pains
your absence refused to give
this mangled heart
a sawed off blob
of tangled
butcher's meat
you can have back
it no longer beats
for me
or bleeds
for you
I rescind your
Lucio love fest
of spatter and gore
bloodied valentines
of rejected be mines
©2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
Cunt Games
she spreads her legs
over the town
open like Mickey's D
in a 711
her lack of worth
her terror
apparent
to trap
them
with a clap
and sap
and a rap
of you're
the only
one daddy
to every
cock
of the walk
shit talk
and festering
ooze
cooze
floozy
but her scab
dries
her lies
grow flaky and thin
falling off
like a fetid
band aid
and everyone
begins to
see the scar
beneath
marred
bar parked
unsheathed
and
nothing
but sad
and
laughable
in her wallered
out
twat
rot
bingo
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
over the town
open like Mickey's D
in a 711
her lack of worth
her terror
apparent
to trap
them
with a clap
and sap
and a rap
of you're
the only
one daddy
to every
cock
of the walk
shit talk
and festering
ooze
cooze
floozy
but her scab
dries
her lies
grow flaky and thin
falling off
like a fetid
band aid
and everyone
begins to
see the scar
beneath
marred
bar parked
unsheathed
and
nothing
but sad
and
laughable
in her wallered
out
twat
rot
bingo
© 2011 by Micael Chadwick
All Rights Reserved
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